Kingdom Come: Deliverance II does not like you.
It will punish you with impossible odds. It will throw numbers and statistics at you at blinding speed. It will grind you beneath its heel and beat you into submission, until you finally decide to play by its rules. Don't get my words twisted, however: Everything I've just written is high praise.
Kingdom Come: Deliverance II was clearly made with care, with love, and with a tremendous amount of thought. Both main and side quests will surprise you with a deftly placed twist. You'll laugh at the Pythonian nonsense of carrying a drunk while he rambles on and pretends to get sick, just as much as you'll grit your teeth as you stealthily creep past a guard who recognized you for a crime you committed hours ago and forgot about. If you'll give me some grace to get this pun out of the way now: Deliverance II delivers the goods.
From the jump, this new Kingdom Come establishes itself as a game rooted in realism. This is 15th-century Bohemia after all, and you're playing as Henry, who can best be described as "some guy from Skalitz." You're not a hero, and you're certainly not famous – you're just some bloke from another part of the world with whom no one on the map is familiar despite his previous exploits, and because of this, no one believes a word you say.
It's a little jarring playing as a random Joe Schmo in this universe, as it goes against the grain of the typical "video game" experience, but I have to admit it's a lot of fun. Whether you're trying to sweet talk your way out of a jam or sneak past a group of enemies on the way to a mission, it's astounding how easy it is for a job to go belly up for the most inane reasons imaginable.
Let me paint you a scenario: The aforementioned drunk I carried to his campsite – who I carried after fighting off a pack of wolves who had trapped him in a tree, by the way – needed me to go find his horse, who had gone missing. He mentioned some vagabonds had set up camp a ways up the road, so I followed the path until I reached the camp.
I hadn't had a chance to recover health after the wolf encounter, so I went and checked my inventory for something that could heal me up. Of all the items in my pouch, only one restored any health at all: An onion, which would restore one HP. Oh well, better than nothing, so I eat the onion. I gained one HP as advertised…
…but as soon as I returned to the game, I was told the onion had been in my pouch too long, turned rotten, and I now had food poisoning. Perfect, no notes.
Situations like this happen all the time in Kingdom Come: Deliverance II, and I should be throwing my controller across the room and quitting the game forever. Yet, even at my most frustrated, my thoughts never went to "alright, I need to be done here;" instead, I would think "oh I'll get you, you jerk!" I was fully engaged, determined not to let this game get the better of me, and that made things even more enjoyable.
What didn't sit well with me, though, was when the game created difficulty outside of the core experience. Specifically, I'm talking about save points; the saving system in this game is absolutely infuriating. You can only save when you sleep in your bed – note the distinction because unless you're closing your eyes in a bed you own, the game won't save. Outside of your bedroom, you can drink a special potion found around the world that will let you save once before it's consumed.
That's right, you have to have a special item to save your game. We're back in the era of Ink Ribbons, everyone! Now, I understand this is playing into the theme of the world – 15th-century Bohemia, no technology to speak of, so limiting saves through potions fits nicely – but if there was anywhere that KCD2 could throw us a bone, why couldn't it have been the save system?
KCD2 is a deep game, with systems on top of systems to learn during the adventure. Weapons, armor, perks, attributes, everything can be tuned to the most minute detail if I want. No one Henry will be exactly the same as another Henry, and each of those players will have stories like the one I told above to tell, but that is the beauty of what Warhorse has accomplished here.
The maps are also massive, with the first area offering dozens of hours of gameplay before you even move onto the second half of the game. Densely wooded areas are intertwined with villages and towns, and each of those is inhabited by people who can either help or hinder your adventure, depending on how you behave.
Another story: One section of the map features a bathhouse, where I would take Henry to wash up and enjoy some, uh, Earthly delights if I so chose. (Oh, that's another thing; hygiene plays a role throughout too, with NPCs calling Henry out if he smells bad.) Once I'd washed, I went into a side room and saw an unattended chest with a few coins inside…so I helped myself to them. Afterwards I left the town and carried on with my adventure, not a care in the world.
Hours later – we're talking 6-8 hours afterward – I pass through that town on my way to another quest, and a guard stops me. He questioned me about the items I'd stolen and demanded I either pay a fine or face punishment. I don't have the coin, so I try to sweet talk my way out of it. That doesn't work either, so I am off to get flogged. Kingdom Come: Deliverance II, everybody!
None of this even references the main quest, which was masterfully crafted and offers some real moments of victory for those who have followed Henry since his original exploits. No spoilers here, but there's at least one event where I pumped my fist into the air in sheer delight. Henry and I are pals now, after all, and I only want what's best for him…even if the world he lives in doesn't.
Speaking of, I found this world to be gorgeous to pass through, from the bustling towns to the wide open fields of Bohemia. They may be littered with danger and anguish, but walking down the paths of the world certainly offers plenty of amazing views. Occasionally, I would see a weird texture pop glitch or something similar when the game would load a new location, but nothing ruined my overall experience.
I loved my time with Kingdom Come: Deliverance II. Even though the game hated me and was out to get me, by persevering through the roughest patches toward the start, I felt like I'd earned the later moments and all of the fun story beats within. Once I learned how the game wanted to be played, I found the whole thing incredibly fun. I imagine some folks will not have that kind of patience – normally, I lack it as well – but there's just something so charming about Henry and his ilk that makes me want to keep coming back.
Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 is not always fun, but man is it always great.
Full Disclosure: A copy of the game was provided for the purposes of this review. Reviewed on PlayStation 5.
